“Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.”
“Don’t give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can’t wear in the evening.”
“A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.”
“Feminine intuition is a fiction and a fraud. It is nonsensical, illogical, emotional, ridiculous, and practically fool proof.”
“I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.”
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
“Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.”
“As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.”
“Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.”
“If a woman tells you that she is single by choice, it’s probably because no one has chosen her.”
A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.”
“A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.”
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – By That’s because she changes it more often.”
“It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.”
God made women beautiful and foolish, … beautiful that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.”
I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.
“From what I understand about the female experience, the period should be called something more drastic, like the exclamation point.”
Show me the man who enjoyed his schooldays and I will show you a bully and a bore. -Robert Morley
“Fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lash, artificial face and sometimes fake behavior, yet a woman will say she needs a real man.”
“I’m a woman.. I’m smart. I never lose an argument. I can cook. I like to read fashion magazines. I love to be right. Men don’t understand us. We must have secret powers, because I don’t understand us, either.”