Amazing Funny Quotes

“Only time can heal your broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.”

“A lady of 47 who has been married 27 years and has six children knows what love really is and once described it for me like this: ‘Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.”

“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”

“Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.”

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.”

“True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one.”

“First love is a kind of vaccination which saves man from catching the complaint the second time.”

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.”

“If the world were ruled by women then there would be no war… Just couple of nations not talking with each other.”

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” -Brian Gerald O’Driscoll

“I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It’s the good girls men should be warned against.”

Thank you for still being my friend, despite the fact that you are completely aware of every terrifying, raunchy, explicit detail of my life.

“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.”

“Men are generally more law- abiding than women. Women have the feeling that since they didn’t make the rules, the rules have nothing to do with them.”

“What counts is not how many animals were killed to make the fur, but how many animals the woman had to sleep with to get the fur.”

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

“I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.”

“A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid. But she is never ever wrong.”

In school they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.

“A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid. But she is never ever wrong.”