Amazing Funny Quotes

“A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick. A youth with his first girl makes everybody sick.”


“Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.”


“Marriage is like jogging through a puddle of industrial strength rubber glue. You can work hard and make it through the struggles; however, you usually leave your bobby socks and sneakers behind along the way.”


“Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.”


The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.


All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.


“Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.”


Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.


I consider myself a crayon, I might not be your favorite color but one day you’ll need me to complete your picture.


God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.


When we have no idea what to write in the exam paper and the supervisor comes and says, “please cover your answer sheet.” It’s LOL…


“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”


“It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.”-Franklin P. Jones


“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”


Best friend: the one that you can mad only for a short period of time because you have important stuff to tell them.


“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” -Marie von Ebner


“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”


“When I hear someone sigh that life is hard, I am tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?’”


“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing — and then marry him.” -Cher


“When I hear someone sigh that life is hard, I am tempted to ask, ‘compared to what?’”


All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”


“I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.”


“You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale


School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.